14 Reasons Why You Should Focus On Yourself Instead Of Trying To Find Love

Featured Image Credit © Jessie Exsteen

As a child, my world revolved around love. With fond memories of playing MASH with my friends, hoping you’d get to marry your crush, twisting the stem of an apple, chanting the ABC’s until it hopefully landed on the initial of the guy you wanted to make your husband.

Secretly for some, openly for others, we all desire being loved. The problem is, we get so tied up in seeking love from others, we forget to love ourselves.

Here are 15 reasons why loving yourself first will bring you everything you need in order to be truly happy:

1. Love isn’t everything

Movies said it, magazines did so too – society tells us that love is all we really need. Reality check: love isn’t all you’ll ever need, it should be made more of a goal that a focus. Yes it’s awesome and feels amazing. Spending your life with the true love you have always deserved is beautiful, but there are hings you need to focus on first – realize that you are just as important.

2. Love can distract you from your goals

Do you want to travel or go to grad school? These are pretty hard feats if you’re focusing on a relationship. It’s much easier to set and achieve goals when you’re not tied down. Who knows, maybe you’ll find that special someone in the midst of it all, they may even share the same passions as you and honestly, what could be better?

Credit: © Jessie Exsteen

3. You won’t be single forever

At some point in your life, the right special someone will come along, sweep you off your feet and it will be like something out of a fairy-tale, but it might not happen right now. There’s a sense of freedom being single, so enjoy it – order that pizza, make friends without fearing they may offend your partner, you can pretty much do anything right now and that’s already amazing!

4. Relationships equal compromise

Once you’ve met someone and things are going down the serious path, you will discover that without compromise, it will never work. This may be tough if your ideas of life are different to your partner’s, so take this time to move to the big city, take that new job. Of course, a really great guy would do these things for and with you, but for now, focus on yourself, be selfish for a little while longer.

5. Love yourself first

I reiterate this because it’s just such good advice. You need to understand yourself before you can try to find out all there is to know about another. How will you give them the love they deserve if you don’t even have enough for yourself?

6. Casual dating

Casual dating could be fun, and besides, why not give it a go? One thing it could at the very least teach you is what you do not want in a guy, there’s zero harm in that. You could meet some very different people and this will in turn help you figure out what you’re really after in that perfect guy.

7. Love happens when nobody is looking

Ever been on the search for something very specific, only to not find it for that special occasion, only to spot hundreds the next day? Well dating kinda happens the same way – it’s when you least expect it that the right guy comes along – be ready for it.

8. You will always have yourself

Men come and go, but you will always have yourself. Through all the highs and lows, the good, the bad and the pretty disappointing, you will always be your best companion.

9. You will be a better partner

Life is a great teacher, many lessons we’re taught are about love. Conflict with a co-worker, forcing you to suck it all up and resolve things teaches you about communication, respect and resolution – things you need in a relationship. That cooking show might have shown you the perfect recipe for a special candle lit dinner with your loved one. Yes it sounds utterly silly, but it wont when you realize how all these life lessons prepared you for the rest of your life with one amazing partner.

Credit: © Jessie Exsteen

10. Avoiding (most) heartbreak

It’s inevitable that in the search for true love, you may be lied to, having your heart broken. It’s hard to know who’s really sincere and genuine, but by taking things slow, you’ll find it easier to spot the serious boyfriend potential among the bad baggage potential.

11. Love takes hard work

Yes, it’s definitely worth it, but it doesn’t come easily. You need to be ready for the tough times in order to receive the great times. Matters like children, marriage and finances are huge decisions and when things aren’t seen eye to eye, tough times may emerge. In order to make love last, you need to learn how to focus on you for now, in order to better focus on the two of you later on.

12. Friends are important

Focus on you friends over the search for Mr Right. Aside from your family, friends are those who will likely stick around for the long haul. They will also be the ones there for you when things (hopefully don’t) go wrong.

13.True love takes time

The best kind of love takes time to develop. There is a difference between infatuation and love. I’m sure you’ve heard of the honeymoon phase? It’s fun, but it isn’t love. Going through thick and thin together, being faced with temptation, fights and still waking day to day, choosing your partner every morning is what sums up true love.  Be patient, you’ll know.

14.YOU are enough

Is he really the one? or are you afraid that he’s the only one good enough? You are powerful and yes, you’re more than capable of being everything you need and more. You do not need anyone to tell you thins, because deep down, you know it. Your partner needs support, not a void to be filled. Likewise, the love of your life will be your support, helping you realize just how wonderful you really are.