Don’t let the ideas of someone else run rampant in your mind. You are responsible for your own happiness, no one else’s, remember that.
We have all been through this before, you can’t stop thinking about someone or something that they did. This happens when someone hurts us or can simply be someone we are infatuated with. We can and do get stuck thinking about them or what they did for hours on end and sometimes much longer than that. The thought of them resurfaces time and time again, haunting us with every single step we take.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not talking about trauma or anything like that right now, this is about those day-to-day interactions that we seem to obsess. I promise you are not the only person who deals with this sort of thing. I tend to obsess the most over negative remarks I hear from complete strangers more than anything else myself.
In order to distract your mind away from these things or these people the following may help you. Remember at the end of the day you are who you are, and that you only have yourself. There are plenty of good things to obsess over, negative thoughts only lead to a negative mind.
1. Don’t react to negative comments
Your reaction when someone says something to hurt your feelings can make you remember it more. Let things simmer down and don’t let the words of others bother you. If you make someone aware that their words have no effect on you, they will leave you alone.
2. Find a healthy distraction
Choose something as a distraction that is fun and uplifting, don’t randomly take up day drinking or smoking. I enjoy working out when I am overthinking, but anything that makes a positive change in your life will do.
3. Don’t try to figure other people out
We are all different and digging into someone’s motives will only make you think more about them or what they did.
4. Remain relaxed
No matter what the situation is, do your best to remain relaxed. Staying in control is more important than going into anything with a hot head. If someone is saying or doing something to piss you off, go in with a calm mind and control the situation.
5. Never assume
Assuming things can cause us to draw conclusions that are wrong. This is done most often during a breakup or when someone cuts themselves out of your life. You think maybe you weren’t pretty enough, smart enough, or something else. However, most of the time when people cut themselves out of other peoples lives it is because of something they did, not the other way around.
6. Do not think of your thoughts as facts
Not every thought that crosses your mind is fact, most of these are only opinions. Sometimes what we think is also based on what we are feeling rather than the facts at hand.
7. Learn to forgive
Forgiving someone for something they said really does feel like a weight off of your shoulders.
8. Learn to forget
This goes hand in hand with forgiveness, but is ten times harder. With that being said, if you forgive you will be able to forget, though it may take a little time.
9. Benefit yourself
When you cannot stop overthinking try to think about the positive rather than the negative, this will quiet your mind or put you in a better mood so you can think about something else.
10. Breathe
Breathing is important! If something is overwhelming you, take the time to really breathe. If you have to just stop everything and take a minute to calm yourself, do it.
11. Don’t expect things to just randomly be okay
You have to work through whatever it is you are going through, it will not just disappear out of your mind and life over night.
12. Be nice
Being kind even to the person tormenting your mind can swipe away all of the negative emotions you have surrounding them. Depending on the gesture they may even change their tune or offer you an apology.
13. Worrying too much affects your health
Seek out therapy if you feel you need it.
14. Do not take the blame for something you didn’t do
If someone tries to blame something on you clear things up right then and there, never let things fester. Believe me, it will do much more harm than good.
15. Throw away the memories
If that person is no longer in your life and it hurts, throw out all the memories you have of that person. No, this is not easy, but it will help you.
16. Give yourself time to get over it
Rome was not built in a day, and memories do not fade in one either! Be realistic with yourself and the people around you.
17. Remember that you cannot change the past
No matter how many times you obsess over an event the outcome is not going to change.
Use these things to help you work through all of your tricky obsessions, but remember to have realistic expectations. Your mind is a broken record sometimes, but maybe you should change the record and move on. Strengthen your relationship with yourself and let yourself be truly happy.
Featured Image Via Kai Fine Art
To read more about this click here to visit Psychology Today.
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